President Donald Trump hit out at ‘losing Australians’ on Twitter last night and insisted that if they towed the country the 6000 kilometres to The Antarctic continent the cooler temperatures would extinguish the bush fires that are currently ravaging the eastern coastal regions of the country.
In a 2.00 am tweet, Trump said: “Sure I feel sorry for Australians right now, but these losers need to realise that they’re only a few miles from Antarcita (sic). I have a globe in my bedroom and they’re real close to that ice, believe me.
“They need to get into rowboats that are chained to the beach and tow themselves closer to the coldness.
“I’ve studied rowing more than anybody and I know this would work great for those guys”
Trump then went on to address the crisis in Iran, telling his Twitter followers that he was personally in charge of the drone that took out, Iranian general, Qasem Soleimani, on Thursday.
“I’ve studied drones and General Qasem more than anybody I know so it was only natural that the Pentagon guys asked me to guide the missile to its target.
“I just looked at the screen in my office and when I saw that loser draw up outside the airport, Donald J Trump let him have it real good”
In other news, North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un, oversaw the launch of his country’s latest intercontinental ballistic missile yesterday, after which he referred to Trump as an ‘imperialist jackal and a complete fucknut’