Reviews & Testimonials
‘I could hardly get out of bed until this device changed my life. Thanks Erect-O-Mate! – Lazarus
‘I’ve never been more erect in my life’ – Dame Judy Dench
‘Absolute rubbish! I sent mine back after one go with it’ – Quasimodo
‘I asked for a recount after mine arrived to make sure there was only one in the box. I paid three million bucks, only to find there were two’ – Thanks Whitechapel Mint for sending it so beautifully and preciously – Donald Trump
‘A boon after sixteen pints of heavy in the Scotland Yard canteen’ – PC Ted Stupor
‘I use mine to maintain a perfect posture while I’m drinking the orphan blood that Bill Gates sends me’ – Tom Hanks
Guarantee – If you’re not 100% satisfied with your Erect-O-Mate, just contact our Customer Relations Department and they’ll send round a couple of heavies to boot you from arseole to Saturday within seven days