Amid chaotic scenes in West London last night a mob of over 200 Winnie The Pooh activists attached ropes to the iconic statue of Paddington Bear on Platform 1 of the station which bears his name and pulled it from its plinth.
The baying mob then dragged it 100 metres to Paddington Basin and pushed it into the water, cheering wildly as it sank to the bottom of the canal.
A spokesman for the Pooh Liberation Front told newsmen: “That bear was a symbol of all that’s vile in this country.
“Unlike Winnie, he was a foreigner from a country notorious for its drugs trade and therefore serves as a constant reminder of the harm done to British coke-users down the years.
“He was also a convicted felon as we saw only too clearly in the first film about his sordid life.
“He may have made noises in public about being a marmalade enthusiast, but its an open secret that he was a clandestine honey thief.
“Why do you think Pooh was forever running out of the stuff?
“Britain smells a whole lot sweeter with this odious character at the bottom of the canal in my view.”
In other related news, the statue of Peter Pan outside Great Ormond Street Hospital in Bloomsbury was last night daubed with red paint and anti-Neverland slogans by Captain Hook militants.