A Whitechapel infants school’s decision to replace the old style dunce’s cap – traditionally worn by slow-witted pupils – for a bright yellow “Trump Wig” has been met with a furious reaction from the Trump administration and from the President himself, who labelled the plan, “very sad” and called the headteacher of St Clements Infants School in Commercial Road, “a bigly fat loser”
Speaking to The Whitechapel Whelk last night, headteacher, Mrs Tracy Dell, 45, said: “I’m sorry if Mr Trump and his administration are upset by our plan to make the school dullards wear a bright yellow Trump wig, but we wanted to move with the times and what better way to humiliate the really thick children in our care than to make them resemble an ocean-going idiot like the current President of the USA?
“If it’s any consolation to our American friends in The White House, the wig will be used very sparingly and will only be worn by pupils with a spectacularly low IQ.
“It will be issued only to kids who can’t spell their own name, or are incapable of walking and talking at the same time. That sort of thing”
In other news, an exclusive girl’s school in Surrey has come under fire from parents after the headmaster announced plans for errant girls to be made to ride a horse around the playing field topless, in what he has described as, “doing a Putin”