I’m in a bit of a quandary so I’m hoping you can help.
All these leading scientists, virologists, immunologists and physicians are advising people to get vaccinated against covid-19 to prevent the current appalling death toll from increasing exponentially until we are faced with well in excess of one hundred million dead across the globe.
However, some people on my Aunty Doris’s Facebook page are insisting that if I get the jab I will be taken over by Bill Gates and George Soros who will switch me on and off whenever the fancy takes them.
Some people on Instagram are also convinced that the vaccine contains pork luncheon meat and Cumberland sausages which will obviously kill people who follow Islam as well as Jewish folk.
Please help me if you can Vic as it’s so difficult to know whether to believe the learned people with impeccable qualifications whose job it is to fight disease or a bunch of beetle-browed headbangers on social media.
Under no circumstances have the jab and become another one of the sheeple.
A bloke I was speaking to on Facebook the other day told me that half an hour after having his first AstraZeneca shot, he grew a second head and his penis dropped off, and this bloke was a lorry driver so he obviously wasn’t making it up.
I was also on Twitter with an unemployed woman the other day who told me that Tom Hanks was waiting for her outside the vaccination centre and that he started drinking the blood from her vaccine wound as she was getting into her car.
The whole of social media is awash with similar, wholly plausible horror stories from reliable and sane individuals who routinely spend the entire day and half the night doing their online research and making their own minds up while wearing their mum’s dressing gowns.
Talking of mums, my mum had the Phizer shot the other day and is already showing worrying signs of personality change.
Only last night, she demanded I give her back her dressing gown before calling me a ‘fucking bone-idle nutjob’
Proof positive of the dangers of vaccine if any were needed I think you’ll agree Toby.
So take my advice my friend and steer well clear of vaccines. The Illuminati that run the world from a shed in Israel are behind this and they won’t rest until all our cocks have dropped off so that we can’t increase the world’s population.
Having said that, if you do contract a killer virus of some description, simply try eating some raw plants or pushing some healing crystals up your bottom.
Stay well and stay woke!
Rubber Room 12
Bermondsey Hospital For The Feeble-Minded
Editor’s Note: We don’t argue with anti-vaxxers just as we don’t bother with the Q Anon clowns. At the end of the day, it’s futile. You can’t reason people out of a position they weren’t reasoned into in the first place. Ridicule and derision is the way forward with these jokers, trust me.