capital punishment

I sometimes hang my kids to the point of death: Actor Cumberbatch’s shock admission


Following last week’s revelation by actor, Martin Freeman, that he sometimes loses his cool and smacks his two young children for being naughty, his co-star in the popular, Sherlock, TV series, Benedict Cumberbatch, has revealed that he disciplines his sons, Hal, 5, and Christopher, 3, by hanging them from a gibbet in his back garden.

Writing in The Observer newspaper, the Doctor Strange star admitted: “Sometimes, after a hard day on the set, I just want to come home and relax with a glass or two of red in front of the box.

“So, if the boys start being noisy or disruptive, I drag them out into the back yard and hang them from the gibbet, sometimes right up to the point where they turn blue.

“It’s not something I’m proud of and my wife often tells me I’m being too strict, but I’m only human at the end of the day and kids do need discipline in my view.

“It’s not as if I actually kill them, is it? Although it’s been touch and go a few times, and on a couple of occasions, the wife’s had to cut them down and throw a bucket of water over them”

Cumberbatch’s admission has drawn criticism from other members of the acting profession, with Bond icon, Sean Connery, calling his actions, ‘A wee bit strong’ While Dame Judy Dench slammed Cumberbatch in a TV interview, calling his methods, ‘barbaric’

Speaking on Newsround, the 107-year-old actress said: “I used to beat my kids with a barbed leather flail if they misbehaved and always found that was more than sufficient to make them toe the bloody line”



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Boris Calls For Return of Public Hanging

“Hang some sense into ’em!” Boris pictured campaigning in Surrey last night

In what is being seen as a bid to upstage his fellow prime ministerial hopeful, Jeremy Hunt, Boris Johnson yesterday told a local Conservative Party association that one of the first things he would do as PM would be to reintroduce public hanging.

Speaking in Dorking in Surrey, Johnson told members: “Public hanging is part of our urban culture and heritage and the sooner it’s back on the statute books the better.

“I would move to have the initial hangings carried out outside The Old Bailey, like they used to be in the good old days, with a view to building a public gallows in every major city in the land.

“Revenue would be raised by selling tickets to these events with special discounts for those in the upper tax brackets”

Hunt, who yesterday said he would move to bring back foxhunting, responded by vowing to implement a return to sending little boys up chimneys and to reintroduce keelhauling and the lash as punishments for sodomy in The Royal Navy

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Outcry as condemned man left in standby mode in electric chair


There was consternation and outrage amongst prisoner’s rights campaigners last night as news emerged that a condemned man at The Indiana State Prison had been left in standby mode for 10 minutes just prior to his execution in the electric chair while the executioner went to the toilet.

Prison governor, Jim Garfield, 63, told us: “While it’s true that a death row inmate was left with a small amount of current running through him while one of my officers took a comfort break, the prisoner was in no real danger and I’m satisfied that his human rights were not breached in any way”.

The officer concerned, Hal Bernstein 34, defended his actions last night, “Yes I left the inmate with roughly a third of the lethal voltage passing through him but I was absolutely breaking my neck for a dump. I tried to hold it back but I was almost touching cloth, so I put the guy on standby. At the end of the day, I didn’t want to keep the state witnesses waiting in the viewing bay with nothing to look at. It’s not as if I let the sonofabitch off or anything”

This is not the first time there has been a ‘Death House’ controversy at this particular correctional facility. In July 1987, the Governor was censured and fined for boost charging his car battery with current from ‘Old Sparky’ during the execution of a 23-year-old murderer and rapist from Fort Wayne.

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