divorce cake

A 62-year-old Whitechapel woman is divorcing her husband of thirty-four years after discovering that he had been faking the inability to walk since they returned from their honeymoon in 1987, resulting in her having to carry him upstairs on her back ever since.

Tracy Dell from Thrawl Street, told us: “I’ve been terribly naive. I should have realised he was faking as soon as he asked me to carry him upstairs when we got back from our honeymoon.

“He told me that the doctor had diagnosed a muscle-wasting disease that made it tricky for him to climb the stairs.

“I was young and in love and I believed him and have been carrying him upstairs every night ever since.

“I even built a kind of sledge which he would climb into at the bottom of the stairs and I would pull him up by hauling on a rope, but as I got older, I became too weak to do it and kept losing my grip which used to send him flying down into the paraffin heater in the hall.

“I only found out he was lying when I came home early from work last week with a headache and heard him having a shit in the upstairs loo after I’d left him downstairs in the kitchen eating his breakfast.

“At least I didn’t have to carry him down in the mornings as he used to do it himself by sliding down the stairs on a tea tray into some cushions.”

A Whelk reporter confronted the man, Toby Dell, 65, as he was being pushed around a local shopping centre in a wheelchair by a young woman, but he fled from our questioning by sprinting up a nearby escalator, going in the wrong direction.