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The Whitechapel Whelk

Ripping the piss since 1888

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feminism

CONTEMPORARY BRITAIN

orc feminist

DISCLAIMER: The editorial team and the entire writing staff on The Whitechapel Whelk would like to point out that we are all confirmed feminists.

This is because, Sofia, our graphics editor is one, and despite the fact that she’s really pretty, we are all shit scared of her -Ed.

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LIFESTYLE

fem trout

No matter what you hear to the contrary, the editor-in-chief of the failing Daily Dafty with its pathetic readership of a paltry 7000-plus and growing, was NOT behind the production of this graphic.

It was conceived, written and produced by us in its entirety while he looked over our shoulders, marvelling at our comedic brilliance and our smudge producing dexterity, ok?

In fact, he can only dream wildly of one day being on a par with us in terms of quality of output, the physical attractiveness of our staff and our legendary bedroom gymnastics, ok? – Ed

PS: Have no fear ladies. We intend to produce a female-friendly antidote to this nonsense in the form of The Misogynist Monthly in just a few days from now. 

This will once again be with absolutely no assistance from the losing, Daily Dafty and their rat fink graphics desk operatives, ok?

Local woman who butchered husband following roast dinner snub walks free

 

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Mrs Dell poses happily for snappers outside the courtroom yesterday

 

A 45-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London was given a conditional discharge at The Central Criminal Court yesterday after a jury found her guilty of murdering her husband with an axe.

The court heard that Tracy Dell, a manicurist, butchered her husband, Toby, with a hatchet after he failed to make a favourable appraisal of a roast dinner that Mrs Dell had cooked in July of last year.

Judge Melissa-Hart-Davies, presiding, told Mrs Dell that her behaviour was “unacceptable but absolutely understandable given the extreme circumstances”

Justice Hart-Davies, formerly a leading women’s rights activist, came under fire in December of last year when she handed out a life sentence to a 30-year-old man accused of letting his girlfriend’s tyres down after she’d cheated on him with his grandad.

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