The government seemingly toughened their stance on protecting Britain’s fishing rights last night by announcing that any country encroaching into British waters will be invaded and their cities sacked and burned.
A Foreign Office spokesman told newsmen: “Post-Brexit, Britain will be a sovereign nation once more and free to police our borders and fishing waters as we see fit.
‘The government have decided to conquer any nation whose rogue fishing boats enter our waters, enslave the populace, sack and pillage the cities and make these dominions British colonies like we used to do in the old days.
‘The British Army, The Royal Navy, and the RAF are now in readiness and will launch an invasion the minute our fish appear to be at risk from foreigners.’
Governments around the world reacted strongly to the threat last night, with many calling the decision over-the-top and expansionist.
The United States were a little more guarded, however.
A White House press officer told reporters: “The president has been informed of this move by the British but has urged caution while he finds out what, ‘laying waste’ means’