A 23-year-old Whitechapel woman who explosively broke wind while having sex with a man she saw as male perfection has thus far failed to understand that the incident will haunt her on and off for the rest of her life and could even be instrumental in severely damaging her mental health and future relationships with the opposite sex.
Tracy Dell, a shop worker from Leman Street, was enjoying a vigorous romp with the man when she inadvertently broke wind, initially emitting a short series of minor ‘squeakers’ before letting fly with an earsplitting ‘crowd pleaser’ that actually resulted in the man fleeing the bedroom in a mixture of revulsion and terror.
An eminent sexual behaviourist told The Whelk: ‘I’m afraid this incident will come back to haunt this woman for the remainder of her life.
‘Her future relationships with men will be badly affected, to the extent that she may never feel able to enjoy intercourse ever again, much less reach a noisy, uninhibited climax.
‘The fear of another flatulent outburst will blight her entire life and may even be the last thing she recalls on her death bed, that’s if she doesn’t kill herself at some point as the dreadful memory of this inopportune, bottom-based outrage gnaws at her sanity and drains her will to live’
Last year, scientists estimated that, in an average week, over thirty million women worldwide will break wind during intercourse.
That’s enough gas to inflate the Donald Trump blimp that was flown over London in 2019 at least thirty times.