The remains of an 89-year-old man were discovered in his East London flat yesterday after neighbours complained of an unpleasant smell coming from the one-bedroom property in Whitechapel.
It is believed that the man, who has been named as Garfield Hoadley, unemployed, was a keen blogger on the WordPress site and may have lost the will to live after having a comment that he made on another blog ignored and left in the ‘pending’ section for over 3 months.
A neighbour told The Whelk last night “He was a nice man and a quiet and considerate neighbour. He told me a few months ago that he’d made a comment on a satirical magazine blog of some description and that he was really looking forward to getting a reply. After that, we didn’t see him much, although my wife remarked that he was looking thin and appeared preoccupied whenever she spoke to him. I couldn’t believe it when a police officer told me he was dead. I just hope we don’t get a family of blacks moving in there”
The Metropolitan Police have issued a brief statement “Mr Hoadley was found on the sofa with his laptop plugged in next to him. He appears to have starved to death. We are not looking for anyone else in connection with his death at this time”
The editor of the magazine, The Whitechapel Whelk, who allegedly left Mr Hoadley’s’ comment in the ‘pending’ section is, Clivey Dee, 19, of Bow in East London. He spoke to us from his home last night “Dead you say? What a blow for his family. I remember his comment in actual fact. It was fairly short but it was so banal and irritating I just left it in the pending bit. You don’t think the relatives will sue me do you?”
This latest blogging-related tragedy comes just a month after a woman in the United States committed suicide by putting her finger in a light socket while standing in a bowl of water after fellow bloggers discovered she was commenting on blogs without actually reading them all the way through.
April 26, 2016 at 5:03 pm
This. Is. Brilliant.
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April 26, 2016 at 5:24 pm
You’ve never liked our Gaz have you?
I must confess, I do enjoy have a little pop at the somewhat “insincere” world of “The WordPress Family” from time to time 😀
Glad you enjoyed it too 🙂
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April 26, 2016 at 5:26 pm
I think it’s good to have a pop at everyone, one way or another. It’s nicely done and really made me laugh 😀 I love this blog.
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April 26, 2016 at 5:38 pm
Would you like to buy it? Serious question 😛
Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated.
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April 26, 2016 at 5:41 pm
Blog for sale! Blog for sale! 😉 Can one really buy a blog? 😀 It’s a pleasure, I assure you.
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April 26, 2016 at 5:12 pm
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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April 26, 2016 at 5:34 pm
I know that woman who electrocuted herself, though she was standing in the sink, not a bowl of water. I was using the bowl for washing my feet.
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April 26, 2016 at 5:39 pm
You can’t take anything seriously can you Eths? We’re talking about blogging duplicity here fer chrissakes! 😉
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April 26, 2016 at 6:19 pm
Great post…up there with the one on me front gate!
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April 26, 2016 at 7:57 pm
Ker-tish! Hahahaha. I agree heartily with all above and possibly below, (but not the belt).
– esme applauding upon the Cloud
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April 27, 2016 at 2:32 am
Nice one Esme. May all your formations be cumulus nimbus and in the shape of sea horses or something 🙂
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April 27, 2016 at 2:25 am
Yes. Yes I expect it probably is.
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April 28, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Had 50 of the things erected the other day. Gotta keep Danny boy out some how.
The Artful Dodger
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April 26, 2016 at 6:55 pm
I’ve actually been considering doing the same once I realized that the only one of you actually reading my blogs is Mike and quite frankly I think he’s even running out of things to say.
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April 27, 2016 at 2:30 am
I hate to break this to you, but old Mike isn’t on The Whelk payroll. I believe he confines himself to more highbrow literary pursuits nowadays. Writing and pretending to have read other people’s appalling poedree. Now, can I help with that bowl of water? 🙂
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April 27, 2016 at 8:21 pm
That Mike…he’s a shifty one!
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April 28, 2016 at 6:43 am
You’re not wrong there mate!!!!
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April 26, 2016 at 7:22 pm
True story
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April 27, 2016 at 2:33 am
You know it Al 😀
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April 26, 2016 at 8:26 pm
My new policy is to wait 90 days before responding. See you end of July.
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April 27, 2016 at 2:34 am
90 days before responding??? What do your wife and mistress have to say about that? 😦
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April 27, 2016 at 3:08 am
Divorced and too old for mistress. And of course reading the humor here would never keep me away that long.
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April 27, 2016 at 5:34 am
Surely a man’s never too old for a mistress Carl?! Say it ain’t so brother! 😉
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April 27, 2016 at 11:15 am
The conversations made the whole matter a folly. “So how was cheer leading practice at university today, darling.?” “Oh my , your new nail polish color is delightful.”
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April 27, 2016 at 11:46 am
You ungrateful wretch mate! I’d cut my right arm off to have my wife compliment my nail polish…even if it would mean she only hand one hand to access!!
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April 27, 2016 at 12:38 pm
I’d like to think there were better reasons to die than any caused by blogging! One never knows what is to be found in this arena we are part of.
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April 27, 2016 at 4:46 pm
In my satirical arena, of which I am a time-served part, there is nothing sweeter or more fulfilling than lampooning the absurd. I find the importance some people place on a lame blogging site a prime target for my wry observations. Keep smilin’ 🙂
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April 27, 2016 at 7:44 pm
This is the third time I have left a comment that has been ignored. Am I to assume, that my opinion is not valid or wanted? If so, can you please remove me from the whole affair.
Yours Faithfully
Nigel Farage M.P.
Whitehouse Lane
White Road
Whitechapel
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April 28, 2016 at 6:46 am
Before I answer this comment you will need to prove beyond doubt that you’re a bony fido member of The WordPress Family. To do this, you will need to write a stanza or two of abysmal poetry and then come back here and kiss my cockney arse. Is that understood, you diabolical slag mate?
xoxoxoxoxo
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May 9, 2016 at 2:19 pm
This comment is awaiting moderation.
😀
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May 9, 2016 at 3:48 pm
But not for long thanks to our crack team of discerning moderators! 😀
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