scared-man
A drinker at The London Hospital Tavern realises he needs to go the bathroom

There were calls for a full government inquiry yesterday as a man fell to his death down the steps leading to the gents toilet in The London Hospital Tavern in Whitechapel.

Mr. Ted Carter, 45, is the 12th man to have been killed while negotiating the steep, narrow stair access to the toilet in the last 6 months bringing the death toll to more than five thousand since it opened in 1927.

One regular drinker told The Whitechapel Whelk: “Those stairs are an absolute nightmare and I’m surprised that the death toll isn’t even higher. On some Saturday nights you can see blokes piled up at the bottom, one on top of the other, where they’ve failed to make it due to the steep drop. Going back a few years, my grandad fell down there on Boxing Day in 1953 and ended up in a permanent vegative state. It’s high time something was done in my opinion. How many more innocent deaths must there be until the government sit up and take notice?”

A spokesman for the nearby, Royal London Hospital, who have to deal with the dead and injured, said last night: “Our advice to drinkers is to wait until they get home, or to be like me and have a slash in the doorway of the carpet shop down the road”