Olympic-Fire-Vector

Following the furore about the short skirts being worn by swimming presenter, Helen Skelton, the BBC are to redress the balance by making ex-triple jump legend, Jonathon Edwards, present the shot-put competition with his nob hanging out.

In other news, members of the disgraced Russian paralympic team are to stage a protest over their disqualification. The wheelchair marathon competitors are planning to march with placards outside the stadium,while the athletes with only one arm are going to post protest banners on walls in downtown Rio.

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