A male passenger on an Easyjet flight to Gran Canaria last week was treated in hospital for facial injuries after a fellow traveller justifiably launched a flurry of blows at the man who had risen from his seat as soon as the aircraft had landed and begun its taxi to the airport terminal in a bid to be the first to disembark.
His assailant, Toby Dell, from Whitechapel in East London, was cheered loudly by fellow passengers as he hammered the man back into his seat with a series of powerful blows before quite rightly berating him as a ‘thick twat’ and a ‘know-nothing ponce’
Speaking to us from his hotel on the island, Dell, 54, said: ‘I hate these deluded fuckers who think that by standing up as soon as the bloody plane touches down and getting their poxy bags out of the overhead lockers they are going to get to their accommodation quicker than anyone else.
‘Haven’t they heard of baggage reclaim carousels, queuing at passport control, or waiting for shuttlebus transport in the airport car park?
‘If I had my way, I would hang the lot of them from lamposts and hang them high’
An Easyjet spokesman told us: ‘We applaud Mr Dell’s prompt actions in this instance and will be offering him a free flight back to London in Business Class with booze and canapes thrown in.
‘These idiots who jump up as soon as we land are gormless fucknuts of the highest order and if people like Mr Dell wish to hammer them from arseole to Saturday then we say, more power to them’
This incident mirrors an altercation on a British Airways flight from London City Airport to Faro in Portugal last month when a passenger who began shouting excitedly at a friend seated across the aisle, pointing out that the plane had begun its descent, was dragged from his seat by an irate fellow traveller who, quite rightly, knocked the man unconscious before jamming his head under his seat.
April 17, 2024 at 7:28 am
Can we have Bonanza on telly tonight? It’s the one where hoss gets pissed in Virginia City and gets involved in some mighty fancy gunplay.
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April 17, 2024 at 7:29 am
Yeah ok but then it’s straight to bed!
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April 17, 2024 at 7:38 am
I’m appalled at reading of this self-centred, egomaniacal pillocks behaviour. If any of officers do it again, feel free to repeat your actions Mr Dell! Chief Constable Idleworthy.
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April 17, 2024 at 7:42 am
Never mind all that, mate. Why is it that, Hoss, Little Joe, and, Adam out of Bonanza look nothing like each other despite being brothers?
Answer me that one!!!!
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April 17, 2024 at 8:42 am
Certainly.
The Cook Hop Sing, Cowhand Luke, and Series Creator David Dortort.
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April 17, 2024 at 9:05 am
I reckon Sheriff Coffee may have questions to answer too!
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April 17, 2024 at 7:05 pm
Ah, I forgot about him!
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April 17, 2024 at 3:21 pm
:D I agree entirely with Mr Dell!
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April 18, 2024 at 3:25 pm
The man is a shining beacon of upright moral decency in a world of decay!
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