Opponents of the controversial, London Garden Bridge project were jubilant last night as pop icon, Olly Murs, threw his weight behind their bid to have the £180 million plan to build a bridge across The Thames with trees on it, scrapped.
Murs told the Whitechapel Whelk last night that he will position his big face on the proposed site, if and when construction work begins, thereby thwarting the plan, which is seen by many Londoners as a huge waste of public funds.
Shaking with emotion, Murs, 57, said: “As a Londoner I’m dead against this bridge and will do everything in my power to stop it, and if that includes using my great big face, then so be it”
Murs then told us that he will enter the river on his back from a nearby wharf, from where he will be towed to the site by a number of tug boats until his huge face is right in the way.
“The beauty of this move” he went on. “Is, that, if they decide to build it a bit further along, I can just do the backstroke until my gigantic face is in the way again. Once they realise that their efforts are a waste of time they can give the 180 million pounds to poor people instead”
London Mayor, Boris Johnson, a firm advocate of the project, reacted angrily when told of Murs’ initiative: “I used to really like Olly Murs and have all his records, but after this, all I want to do is punch his big face in”
Murs’ plan mirrors a similar initiative two years ago, when roly-poly BBC London radio broadcaster, Vanessa Feltz, prevented the construction of a block of luxury flats in Whitechapel, East London, by flattening all the bulldozers with her gigantic arse.
The Whitechapel Whelk 
February 3, 2016 at 6:43 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE and commented:
For more of this type of silly nonsense, please go here:
https://thewhelkwordpresscom.wordpress.com
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February 3, 2016 at 9:35 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
As you can see this tickled me highly.
– esme falling about on the Cloud
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February 3, 2016 at 12:41 pm
I’m absolutely delighted that you enjoyed this latest public-spirited act by the big-faced blighter, Esme. Long-suffering readers of my ridiculous output in various other publications will tell you that I have written fairly extensively about Olly’s acts of altruism. If memory serves, his big face has been used to shore up the foundations of The Leaning Tower of Pisa, to crush Daesh in Syria and to shield the earth from harmful UVA rays to name but three. Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated 🙂
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February 3, 2016 at 1:19 pm
Fat-heads. There’s a use for them after all. *laughs*.
You’re very welcome, some light relief is always welcome in the blogosphere, as the actor said to the bishop.
– esme laughing upon the Cloud
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