It is being reported by Russian news agencies that, Great British Bake Off judge, Mary Berry, is currently locked in crisis talks with Russian president, Vladimir Putin, over the ongoing war in Syria.
The 81-year-old star of the popular TV show was flown to Moscow immediately following the screening of last night’s final BBC episode where she held talks with Russian diplomats before being received by Putin in his office in The Kremlin.
It is believed that Berry, famous for her sumptuous desserts and cut glass English accent, discussed Russia’s role in The Middle East, and in Syria in particular, where Putin stands accused of war crimes, including the carpet bombing of hospitals, schools and civilian residential areas.
A Kremlin spokesperson issued a brief statement earlier: “President Putin has enormous respect for Mrs Berry and never misses an episode of the show. It is early days in the negotiations, but we can announce that Russia will call for an immediate ceasefire in Syria if Mary will reconsider her decision to quit Bake-Off when it moves to Channel 4.”
This latest intervention by a TV personality in international politics comes after the announcement last month that Saudi Arabia are to stop bombing The Yemen following TV chef, Jamie Oliver’s threat to start a campaign to introduce a healthy-eating menu for schoolchildren in Riyadh.
The Whitechapel Whelk 
October 27, 2016 at 2:47 pm
Brilliant, as always! The Whitechapel Whelk is quickly becoming my only news source! 👍👍🐚📱
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October 27, 2016 at 4:39 pm
Very wise Tom. If The Whelk had been on the case during the fraught days of Watergate, Nixon would never have been impeached. Hang on a minute…that’s not right is it? 😦
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October 28, 2016 at 4:49 pm
LOL! There you go again! No wait! That was that doofus Ronald Reagan that said that. Please forgive me but all of these hateful Republicans look alike to me.
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October 28, 2016 at 6:28 pm
Dear old Ronnie’s tenure in The Oval Office will look like four years of gentle meditation and yogic flying with the goddamn Dalai Lama when compared with four years of The Trumpster my good friend. Do you own a firearm?…now, here’s what I think you should do… 😉
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October 29, 2016 at 1:43 am
LOL! Anarchy! It looks like Trump will be losing the election in a landslide. I wonder who, on his staff, will have the untidy job of informing him? Now that he has his own News Network, I’m sure it won’t be reported there.
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October 29, 2016 at 7:55 am
Not looking quite so rosy for Mrs Bill after this latest email furore Tom. Hopefully, it’s just a bunch of penis developer spam forwarded by The Donald 😉
Hey! There’s a skit there somewhere my friend! Watch this space. You heard it here first etc 😀
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October 29, 2016 at 8:56 am
Here you go Tom. I’ve even given you a little plug as a footnote 😉
https://thewhelkwordpresscom.wordpress.com/2016/10/29/clinton-angrily-denies-having-emails-from-whitechapel-plumber-in-spam-folder/
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October 28, 2016 at 2:56 am
Dessert makers fix everything, right?
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October 28, 2016 at 9:17 am
You should know Peggy. You must have seen quite a few in your time. The Sahara, The Kalahari, The Great Gobi, to name but five. 🙂
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October 29, 2016 at 3:56 pm
I’m so tempted to say don’t forget the tiramasu.
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