A recent study by The University of Guildford has found that bloggers with a large number of followers are infinitely better writers and produce a far more interesting blog than those with just a handful of devotees.
It was previously thought that people with a huge following were merely desperados in need of validation for their wretched output which could only be achieved by spending countless hours on the WordPress site, liking other blogs and dishing out the insincere platitudes in the comments section.
However, Professor Toby Dell, who headed the study, told The Whelk: “Our study has shown that the more followers and comments you have the better your blog is and there’s an end to it”
When pressed, Professor Dell admitted that he was a WordPress contributor himself with over 1.5 million followers at the last count.
EDITOR’S NOTE: I once spotted a blog on here, advertising the services of a septic tank-emptying company which boasted over 250 likes for a post offering to suck human excrement from a pit in your garden. Food for thought right there, folks.
February 21, 2020 at 3:35 am
I really miss those sceptic tank guys. They always gave me a like no matter how truly dreadful my output was. I guess dreadful output is in their DNA.
Great, great post btw.
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February 21, 2020 at 3:37 am
Stop talking crap, Danny
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February 21, 2020 at 3:38 am
Gotcha.
Great, great comment, btw.
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February 21, 2020 at 3:35 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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February 21, 2020 at 3:50 am
You may add this comment to your total. No septic here, just a bit of scepticism.
LikeLiked by 6 people
February 21, 2020 at 4:01 am
Thanks Audrey! Great scepticism, by the way. Probably the best I’ve ever seen in fact.
No wait! There’s no, probably, about it!
OMG! THIS IS SCEPTICISM ON THE GRAND SCALE!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 7:52 am
Are you really sure it is scepticism?
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 8:12 am
Whether it is or it isn’t it’s still great and that’s all that matters right now.
LikeLiked by 2 people
February 21, 2020 at 4:04 am
As scepticism goes this is great
Great, great scepticism on a scale previously unheard of
I’ve seen scepticism before but nothing comes close to yours
NOTHING I TELL YOU!!!
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February 21, 2020 at 4:07 am
Stop trying to nick my followers mate
Great attempted nicking by the way.
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February 21, 2020 at 4:09 am
Thanks mate
Great, great admonishment tinged with the threat of violence btw
Right up there with the very very best
PS. I’m in love with you
There, I’ve said it now
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February 21, 2020 at 4:11 am
Great declaration of deep affection mate.
Not even Shelley himself could have poured such honey sweetness into my shell-like ear xoxoxoxo!
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February 21, 2020 at 4:13 am
You do know I’m married, right?
Great,great attempt to induce me to leave my wife btw
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February 21, 2020 at 4:14 am
Just do it mate. I left your wife 2 weeks ago and I’ve never been happier
Great, creat attempt to deny your true feelings btw xoxoxoxox ((((((HUGS))))))))
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February 21, 2020 at 4:15 am
My place?
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February 21, 2020 at 4:16 am
I’ll bring me bondage gear
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February 21, 2020 at 4:16 am
Great!
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February 21, 2020 at 5:54 am
I love this blog – it is one of my favourites due to the satire, irony and Witt. I believe I now should get kudos for satire irony and ..alright you can leave the wit off if you want. I might also say the comments section today was funnier than the entire post. My thinking has all gone into a cockney accent as well. Which will be annoying if you’re actually Irish. There
Longest comment ever – you would think I would have more followers
LikeLiked by 3 people
February 21, 2020 at 7:24 am
Why thank you, ‘Thousand’. -May I call you, Thousy?
Your epic comment was kindly in its content, sprinkled with gentle humour, and as welcome as a quart of Old Bushmills with the cork removed and a glass with crushed ice next to it. Trust me when I tell you that IT DOESN’T GET ANY MORE WELCOME THAN THAT!
Incidentally, I once went out on a date with your younger sister. By The Lord Harry, I’ll never forget that wonderful summer’s evening when I danced the night away with Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine!
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 7:43 am
You have to watch my younger sister – she is jealous to be an almost you know …as all the 9’s are and imagine it’s much worse being a 999…almost 1000 but just fell short. Don’t tell her I said that though and you know perhaps you could call me Kate – I’m one thousand in a million but really..Kate will do. 😊 enjoy your drink – cheers 🥂
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February 21, 2020 at 8:08 am
Here at Whelk Towers we have honed our drinking skills into an art form. We’re not bad at falling over either! Cheers Kate! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 10:04 am
Cheers Basil.
LikeLiked by 2 people
February 21, 2020 at 7:41 am
I didn’t even read the above post but I have liked it and followed you because you or your readers may give my site a click and then I’ll be rolling in that sweet 0.0000000001 pence page impression and ad serving commission for it. Before long, I will be richer than Bezos. Suckers.
LikeLiked by 2 people
February 21, 2020 at 8:10 am
I haven’t read your comment. In fact I’m completely oblivious to its existence. However, if you think that’s going to stop me fawning over your every post like a mewling halfwit you can bloody well think again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 9:33 am
Bloody mewling halfwits. Or ‘cats’ as a lot of people call them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 8:18 am
It has just occurred to me that if John Steinbeck were to serialise, East Of Eden on here but failed to do the necessary, fawning and bullshitting, he would die a penniless unknown. A bit like our sports editor.
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February 21, 2020 at 12:27 pm
hahaha. and eeewwwww! I am not one of the 250.
LikeLiked by 2 people
February 21, 2020 at 2:58 pm
I was. I actually used to go on the comments, praising their blog as the greatest ever. They didn’t reply 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 12:28 pm
I once followed a septic service truck on the highway. It had a bumper sticker thst said “Your sh*t is putting my kid through college.”
LikeLiked by 3 people
February 21, 2020 at 2:59 pm
Love it! 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
February 21, 2020 at 12:32 pm
Finally an indication of where I’ve been going wrong in the blogosphere. I always thought that it was my poor, self-indulgent content which was making my blog terrible, but it turns out it’s just my low follower count. Thanks, University of Guildford!
LikeLiked by 2 people
February 21, 2020 at 3:01 pm
Many moons ago, there was a guy called Sean on here. He crawled and flattered his way to thousands of followers, brought a book out, made a few quid from the faithful and was never seen again. He’s a legend to me 😀
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February 21, 2020 at 1:56 pm
Expect a shit load of new followers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 3:02 pm
Be still my racing heart. Did the results come through from the caucasus yet? Did Bernie win???
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 4:41 pm
Some say Jeremy Corbyn won. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 7:39 pm
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse for you guys!
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February 21, 2020 at 3:20 pm
You need to make more comments on my blog so I can be as popular as your are. It’s in the Blog Reciprocity Contract which you signed.
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February 22, 2020 at 6:20 am
Ah, the old BRC. I thought you were offering me a drive in the British Rally Championship.
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 21, 2020 at 11:31 pm
First visit back for ages.
Wish I hadn’t.
PS. Are sycophantic ‘likers’ better than sceptical ones?
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 22, 2020 at 4:16 am
Alright, boss?
I don’t like either of ’em. mate
BADOOM TISH!
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February 22, 2020 at 8:59 am
As an elderly scepticalisationist, I’d like to say that futurially speaking, I’m off to the Doctors on Wednesday. But only if the buses can get through the flood-water. I don ‘t know why I said that? Sorry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 22, 2020 at 9:09 am
That’s ok, Inchy. The more surreal the comment the better we like it, old son 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 23, 2020 at 3:32 pm
It’s not serial, its a one off! I can’t be…Ah, surreal? ‘Reaches for the medications!
LikeLiked by 1 person