A dismal attendance at the much-publicised, Whitechapel Chronic Fatigue Awareness Rally, which was held at St Bart’s Church Hall on Wednesday night, has left organisers red-faced and with a big question mark being placed over next year’s staging of the event.
WFCA president, Garfield Hoadley, who failed to attend himself after dozing off in the hammock in his back garden, told The Whitechapel Whelk from his bed last night: “It was very disheartening to be honest, but I doubt if I’ll lose much sleep over it. We were hoping to attract some of the laziest bastards and bone idle stay abeds in East London, but it would appear that some people just can’t be bothered to make the effort, and I for one don’t blame them. As for next year’s rally, I’ve no idea whether we’ll bother to be honest. I certainly won’t. Let some other poor bleeder do all the hard graft for a change”
Mr Hoadley, 75, then asked us to plump up his pillow, make him a cup of tea, take the dog for a walk, and to nip down to get him a newspaper and half an ounce of Golden Virginia.
The Whitechapel Whelk 
May 28, 2016 at 9:42 am
I’m tired of such events too.
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May 28, 2016 at 10:12 am
You have an excuse though Carl…it’s your advanced years dear boy 😉
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May 28, 2016 at 2:26 pm
Yeah, well I’ll be “advancing” to 67 on June 18. I plan to shorten my nap to just 2 hours that day so I can breath in much of the day before I retire at 7:30.
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May 28, 2016 at 4:48 pm
That’s absolutely astounding my friend! You don’t look a day over 65. We actually share a birthday by the way. I’ll be celebrating having a mental age of 12 on that very day!
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May 28, 2016 at 5:33 pm
Im envious but I bet you don’t still sleep with a teddy bear (too old for Hotsies).
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May 28, 2016 at 5:56 pm
Well, I mean to say…Yu royals ave a kip in the afternoon, don’t they…Course, I ain’t sayin I’m royalty, but I do have a Crown Derby toilet cystern…
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