There was a new development in the mystery surrounding the 7-month disappearance of the wife of North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un, last night when a 45-year-old woman from Whitechapel told The Whitechapel Whelk that she turned up at her flat in Commercial Road last Tuesday and carried out repairs on her central heating system.
Ri Sol-yu, 29, was previously feared dead after reports that she had fallen out with the President’s fiery youngest sister, Kim Yo-jong, but this latest sighting would appear to disprove the theory.
The woman concerned, Mrs Tracy Dell, a housewife and mother of nine, told us: “I’d been having problems with my central heating for weeks so I went online and spotted an ad for a local heating engineer. I sent an email, and the following day, Kim Jong-un’s wife turned up to repair it.
“She was quite friendly and chatty really. We had a bit of a chin-wag about the American election and she told me she wanted Mr Trump to win because he has nice hair.
“I asked her about her marriage to Kim Jong-un but she didn’t seem keen to discuss it. “Don’t talk to me about that pig,” she said. I can only assume they must have had a row.
“She fitted a new thermocouple to the main burner and we settled up. She only charged me 45 quid for labour and nothing for the part, as she told me that she’d used a second hand one she had in the van. I’d certainly use her again and would definitely recommend her to other people”
This surprising account mirrors the occasion in 1998 when Chairman Mao’s wife fitted an unvented hot water cylinder in the home of a woman from East Ham and didn’t charge her for a 22mm compression elbow joint.
Writer’s Note: My thanks go to The Artful Dodger who sewed the seed of this one in my mind last night before watering it liberally with fond sentiments and fizzy lager.
November 1, 2016 at 8:25 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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November 1, 2016 at 3:54 pm
Another empire brewing, er blowing!
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November 1, 2016 at 7:04 pm
Two of my favourite past-times there. A nice cuppa and blowing my own trumpet! 😀
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November 3, 2016 at 3:39 pm
Haha! And being honest? 😉
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November 3, 2016 at 7:05 pm
As the days is long! 😀
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November 1, 2016 at 6:01 pm
What a woman.
I first met her when she installed my hot water system. I’ve been having hot flushes ever since.
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November 1, 2016 at 6:40 pm
I’ve just googled her and I have to say she looks like a bit of an old boiler to me. *slowly lowers head*
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November 1, 2016 at 10:24 pm
Truly amazing journalism!
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November 2, 2016 at 6:41 am
Cheers! We pride ourselves on wielding the mighty sword of troof and justice. It’s almost an illness with us!
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November 2, 2016 at 7:18 am
Where there is troof, there’s often a goof with a spoof.
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November 2, 2016 at 7:45 am
ain’t that the troof!
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November 15, 2016 at 6:20 pm
I hear he’s “laying pipe” with another heater.
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November 15, 2016 at 7:19 pm
Hey, Kim’s a mighty good-looking fella. Why shouldn’t have a little fun before he gets assassinated?
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November 15, 2016 at 9:57 pm
On a serious note how can one man be so super human and a slave master in a country without one among millions doing the hit job ?
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November 16, 2016 at 5:46 am
I’ve heard that every North Korean has the right to bear arms but bullets cost $20,000 each 🙂
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