The Whitechapel Whelk has learned that hundreds of Donald Trump supporters in some of the southern states of America have been killed by hunters who have then skinned them and sold their hides on the internet.
The pelts can fetch up to $12 each on the black market and are famed for their thickness, their blotchy redness around the neck area, and all-weather durability.
Many end up as car seat covers, or, in the case of extremely large pelts, as builders’ tarpaulins, which can be used to cover piles of bricks or open cement bags overnight.
A White House insider told us last night: “This disgusting trade in President Trump’s supporters has to stop. It’s bad enough that our popularity is dropping off alarmingly without these unscrupulous people preying on what remains of our support.
“I wouldn’t mind, but we didn’t have that many to start with. You only have to look at the poor turnout for the inauguration to see that”
Fears are now growing, that if something isn’t done to stop the growing trade in Trump supporter’s hides, the creatures could go on the endangered species list along with the white rhino and also Whitechapel car mechanics, who are highly prized by housewives across the world who use their stuffed penises as rolling pins.
March 14, 2017 at 5:30 am
Is it too much to dream for? Trump supporters becoming endangered. Oh please let it happen!
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March 14, 2017 at 6:30 am
The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that they’ll all be dead one day Peggy 😀
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March 14, 2017 at 7:38 am
Perhaps we could confine Trump supporters and anti-vaccers in one state?
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March 14, 2017 at 7:40 am
Yes. How about a state of perpetual torment? 😀
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March 14, 2017 at 7:45 am
Sadly, that’s what WE are in right now.
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March 14, 2017 at 7:48 am
Never mind, Peggy. If Mr Trump keeps annoying the Chinese for long enough we’ll all be turned into negatives before you can say “nuclear codes” 😀
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March 16, 2017 at 4:48 am
My supporters were attacked because Obama took their guns away. They couldn’t defend themselves with just their hands and squirrel tails. It was so SAD!
That is why I promise to restore guns, really big guns, to every single one of my supporters.
Incidentally, you are wrong about the size of inauguration crowds. At my inauguration there were only supporters. At Obama’s they were all protesters. Every single one. Imagine that. So many people came out to protest his inauguration. Millions and millions. We had to stop counting eventually. The numbers were getting to long to say out loud.
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March 16, 2017 at 6:21 am
I believe you, George. A word to the wise though, Mr President. Make sure that all the guns you restore to your fans are finely-tooned and bigly guns. Most important that is.
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March 16, 2017 at 8:21 pm
Two thumbs up to that! Great advice. Fabulous advice. Can I send you a hat?
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March 17, 2017 at 7:46 am
Ok, but no foreign crap. It has to be ‘Made in China’ or the deal’s off.
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March 17, 2017 at 8:27 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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