trump hide
A Trump supporter’s hide, complete with tattoo, pictured on eBay last night

 

The Whitechapel Whelk has learned that hundreds of Donald Trump supporters in some of the southern states of America have been killed by hunters who have then skinned them and sold their hides on the internet.

The pelts can fetch up to $12 each on the black market and are famed for their thickness, their blotchy redness around the neck area, and all-weather durability.

Many end up as car seat covers, or, in the case of extremely large pelts, as builders’ tarpaulins, which can be used to cover piles of bricks or open cement bags overnight.

A White House insider told us last night: “This disgusting trade in President Trump’s supporters has to stop. It’s bad enough that our popularity is dropping off alarmingly without these unscrupulous people preying on what remains of our support.

“I wouldn’t mind, but we didn’t have that many to start with. You only have to look at the poor turnout for the inauguration to see that”

Fears are now growing, that if something isn’t done to stop the growing trade in Trump supporter’s hides, the creatures could go on the endangered species list along with the white rhino and also Whitechapel car mechanics, who are highly prized by housewives across the world who use their stuffed penises as rolling pins.

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