In the style of the recent practice of applauding health workers in a number of world cities, the entire nation is expected to rise as one tomorrow night at 20.00 to pay tribute to the decision of Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla Parker-Bowles to move up to the Scottish retreat of Balmoral during the current health emergency.
A grateful nation will clap, cheer, and rattle pots and pans at their doors and windows in a heartfelt salute to the royal couple’s decision to lie low for a bit until the covid-19 pandemic is over.
The Whelk last night spoke to a local man who intends to give his wholehearted support to the initiative.
Toby Dell, a 54-year-old hospital porter, told us: “I’ll be in the middle of a 12-hour shift at the Royal London when the tribute is scheduled to be paid, but wild horses won’t be able to keep me from whooping and hollering from a window somewhere as a mark of respect for what Charles and Camilla are doing by putting themselves well out of harm’s way.
“My mum used to tell me that the Queen Mum walked through the bombed ruins of East London during the war in an act of solidarity with the people, but Chuck and Camilla’s decision to clear off up to Scotland to live in a castle until the coast’s clear pisses all over that”
In other news, Prince Andrew has revealed that he will shortly be flying off to the paradise island, formerly owned by the late convicted paedophile, Jeffrey Epstein, telling friends that he will spend his time avoiding the BBC’s Emily Maitlis and frequenting a bamboo-built pizzeria, staffed by underage girls.
March 25, 2020 at 7:43 am
The Brits have long memories in my experience and they won’t forget this craven act of cowardice, believe you me – Ed
PS. Ed’s not my name, by the way, it’s short for Edwina.
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March 25, 2020 at 10:58 am
Meanwhile, Donald is sending senate interns out for cheeseburgers. After they return, he’d been seen shaking their hands and tipping them a quarter.
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March 25, 2020 at 2:25 pm
Teflon Don’s beyond satire these days. I read Borowitz in the New Yorker and his stuff reads like a factual report these days 😀
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March 25, 2020 at 11:47 am
Bloody bastard. We said up here do NOT come and bring your germs. And let’s no start re how that chinless wassock got a test cos despite all this stuff re testing centres and phone 111 if you are ill so you can get a test… people are pun on hold for 3 hours. Time for one of these if you have so and so press button one, if you have a cough and a fever, just die now.
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March 25, 2020 at 12:55 pm
Aye, well ye’ll no get any argument frae me oan this yin, hen. Ah’ll be saving mah sympathy fae ma wee daughter who’s a nurse oan the frontline in a London infirrrrrrrmary. Yon royal bastart can go boil his bluddy heid ah’m thinkin’.
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March 25, 2020 at 11:48 am
Yeah you can see I am already waving my pot in the air and applauding the gallant prince and his lovely wife.
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March 25, 2020 at 1:04 pm
Apparently, latest news is he’s tested positive so… given he probably kissed Mummy and Daddy goodbye, possibly we’ll be coming out of this as a republic.
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March 25, 2020 at 5:33 pm
It’s the Queen I feel sorry for,mate. Imagine enduring a day when you wake up next to Prince Philip and then have to get within touching distance of Donald Trump
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March 25, 2020 at 2:18 pm
OMG. Where has this site been all my life? Dan Antion sent me here and I must return. I haven’t had such a good laugh for a while. Oops, the laugh kicked off a coughing spell. Can you get the crud from just reading about Charlie?
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March 25, 2020 at 5:28 pm
Welcome John. Any friend of Dan’s is a friend of ours. Without his weekly Jim Beam emergency rations we wouldn’t be the cheery, liver-damaged bunch we are today! *hic*
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March 25, 2020 at 8:57 pm
😊
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