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In a groundbreaking move, social media giants, Instagram, have vowed to put an end to the criticism they have received in recent months for allowing the publication of graphic images of young people self-harming, by culling children and young adults found to be indulging in this behaviour.

Head of Instagram, Adam Mosseri, told newsmen: “We’ve been inundated with complaints about images of self-harm being freely available on our platform and have decided to put a stop to the constant criticism by killing any young person who tries to upload images of this nature.

“I think this move will prove very popular with our shareholders, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters”

Instagram’s initiative comes just 6 months after, sister company, Facebook, sent out death squads to eliminate youngsters who were routinely posting pictures of their dinners or cute pets.

It’s a pretty grim piece of satire this, folks. A bit like the world really.

Love, peace, and mental tranquillity to all…except Donald Trump, he can go rot in The Hades Hilton. – Ed