NEXT WEEK: Breakout.
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Michael Cohen
The Whitechapel Whelk
We are a small, but perfectly formed band of satirists and smudge artists. We neither drink nor smoke. Nor indeed, do we use profanity or indulge in the sinful pleasures of the flesh. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get down the pub before closing time for a few pints and half an ounce of Golden Virginia. Hopefully, I'll have enough cash left to visit the local rub 'n' tug shop later for a massage and a rattling good bunk up with a painted floozie. All The Best. Danny SoZ. Editor-in-chief
The Whitechapel Whelk 
Please leave your cash, valuables and comments here. They'll be quite safe...ish.