Controversial TV presenter and journalist, Piers Morgan, was killed earlier this morning in a bloody fight with fellow morning TV show host, Eamonn Holmes, after the two heavyweights clashed in an ITV carpark in a walrus-style fight to the death.
Holmes and Morgan were seen rearing up and smashing their upper bodies into each other, opening huge bloody wounds with their teeth and tie pins.
Witnesses said that the sickening impacts of their huge bloated bodies could be heard from surrounding offices as hundreds of workers watched the grim life or death struggle.
After a gruelling 5 -hour battle, Morgan eventually wilted and fell lifeless under a barrage of headbutts and body blows from his 400lb rival.
According to onlookers, Holmes then emitted a series of deafening roars and bellowed in triumph over the body of his fallen rival.
The blood-soaked Good Morning host then staggered across to a small group of office girls to claim his harem.
One of these was then heard to remark, ‘You must be joking, you fat turd’ before the group moved away to a nearby cake shop.
January 13, 2020 at 1:32 pm
Hahaha! You’re truly mental. 😀
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January 13, 2020 at 2:24 pm
Touch, my darlingest darling! Say you’ll be mine and there could be an earner and a night of benign conversation in it for you! xxoxoxoxoxox!
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January 13, 2020 at 2:26 pm
Keep away from Touch, you scumbag or I’ll make you the sorriest man alive
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January 13, 2020 at 2:26 pm
Righto!
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January 13, 2020 at 2:32 pm
*Imagines Mr. Soz and Mr. Whelk going at it in front of the mirror.* 😀
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January 13, 2020 at 2:33 pm
Steady on Touch! Family blog and all that!
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January 13, 2020 at 2:31 pm
I’ll have to decline, Mr. Soz. I’m afraid that kind of talk is likely to get Mr. Whelk rearranging your face if you’re not careful. 😀
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January 13, 2020 at 2:34 pm
😀
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January 13, 2020 at 2:24 pm
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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January 13, 2020 at 3:25 pm
I hope the royals won’t be involved in something like this.
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January 14, 2020 at 7:45 am
I think they’re a bit busy right now
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January 13, 2020 at 5:32 pm
Thanks for breaking the real story. Every time there’s a cast change, they try to pass it off as some respectable absence like, drug rehab or an inability to make bail.
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January 14, 2020 at 7:44 am
3 words mate: Cutting edge news.
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January 14, 2020 at 12:02 pm
Pity about Piers. Before his demise, he successfully tore magnificent strips off one of our hopeless politicians who denies climate change. I’ll always appreciate Piers for that.
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January 14, 2020 at 12:31 pm
Well played to him for that. However, he needs to stop lampooning Greta Thunberg and cosying up to Trump before this publicatin takes its boot off his scrawny, right-wing neck 🙂
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January 14, 2020 at 12:43 pm
If he lampoons Greta and kisses Trump, he’s dead to me. Just saying.
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January 14, 2020 at 12:52 pm
He’s been very vitriolic towards the kid and counts Trump as one his pals. He’s a nasty piece of work, Pegleg.
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