A recent report suggests that the number of women who are desperately keen to sleep with random men who make contact with them on the internet is set to soar in 2019.
This spells bad news for men right across the globe who are already under siege from the barrage of attractive women, desperate to have sex with any Tom, Dick or Harry that makes contact with them online, irrespective of looks, weight, disposition or personal hygiene.
A spokesman for Cambridge University in England, who conducted the survey, said last night: “Already we have seen a huge upsurge in the numbers of women who are mad keen on getting down to business with no-mark douchebags and unsavoury chancers who sidle up to them online and make inappropriate remarks.
“Our findings indicate that the vast majority of these women are already naked, or, at the very least, scantily clad in French maid’s outfits, when they go online, desperate to find some unwashed limpdick scumbag to give them the good news”
These latest findings mirror those of a recent survey conducted by The University of London which revealed that Britain’s full-breasted beauties are desperately keen to be sent a lot more pictures of men’s penises.
January 1, 2019 at 3:44 am
Blimey, that’s handy! I’m going to have a crack at ‘Touch’ out of, A Touch of Cinnamon! GRRRRRRR!
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January 1, 2019 at 3:46 am
Oh yeah? Well good luck with that one, chump. *lights pipe and smacks meaty fist into palm*
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January 1, 2019 at 3:47 am
Blimey! Don’t be like that mate. I didn’t mean nothing by it, bruv…honest!
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January 1, 2019 at 3:48 am
Look, just go to your damn room, ok?
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January 1, 2019 at 3:48 am
Righto! Love you! x
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January 1, 2019 at 3:49 am
Arsehat.
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January 1, 2019 at 4:29 am
Dang-it! Why did I have to choose 2019 to finally go off the grid?
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January 1, 2019 at 7:27 am
You too eh Biff? Story of our romantic lives, isn’t it? Tsk 😦
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January 2, 2019 at 1:36 am
Sadly, it is. And, unfortunately, it’s a story no one wants to read. ha ha!
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January 1, 2019 at 7:54 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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January 13, 2019 at 8:04 am
I kept saying to myself as I read this- surely this is satire lol 😂😂
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January 13, 2019 at 11:07 am
Yep, it’s pretty hard to tell satire from reality these days, ain’t it? 🙂
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January 1, 2019 at 11:54 am
Good to know. Thanks for keeping us abreast.
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January 1, 2019 at 12:25 pm
No need to thank us, Hugh. We are proud to wield the sword of truth and justice in order that our readership can become better informed and more well-rounded members of the human race.
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January 1, 2019 at 12:41 pm
Much appreciated!
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