A 42-year-old British tourist was badly beaten in a bar in Montgomery, Alabama, last Friday evening after telling fellow drinkers that he was ‘dying for a fag’ (the colloquial English term for cigarettes) after running out of rolling tobacco earlier in the evening.
Toby Dell, a forklift truck driver from Whitechapel, had failed to realise the homosexual connotations of his statement and was attacked by a number of drinkers before being tied to a pickup truck by his ankles and dragged around the car park.
Mr Dell’s wife, Tracy, 42, told reporters outside the hospital: “Toby’s on the mend and will be discharged tomorrow. He’s understandably upset by what happened, particularly because he’s the vice-chairman of the East London Anti-Gay and Lesbian Society”
In a similar incident in 2016, a 30-year-old rugby-loving man from Whitechapel in East London was beaten and thrown into a swamp in Louisiana after telling a burly man in a bar that he looked like a hooker.
Editor’s Note: It’s probably best not to ask an American lady to dress up in suspenders either. No good will come of it, trust me.
February 27, 2018 at 5:32 am
Pays to travel with an intercontinental dictionary.
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February 27, 2018 at 6:33 am
You’re darn tootin’ ma’am! *lights pipe and empties 6-gun into saloon ceiling*
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February 27, 2018 at 6:35 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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February 27, 2018 at 1:57 pm
This genuinely happened when I lived in the States. Mum was at the counter of a large superstore asking where she could get a joint from for the family, I rolled up and asked her where dad was, mum replied that he was outside having a fag. The poor lady at the counter looked horrified. It took us a few minutes to realise why. 😀
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February 27, 2018 at 2:04 pm
It could have been worse. She could have made a homosexual allusion to your dad while being engulfed by a devastating giant salami
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February 27, 2018 at 2:07 pm
Yes, the massive salami, I remember it well…don’t forget the courgette fiasco too.
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February 27, 2018 at 2:15 pm
I love your mum. She taught Mrs Malaprop everything she knows 😀
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March 1, 2018 at 1:52 am
Hahahahahaha! You strange Brits! No wonder I married one!
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March 1, 2018 at 3:43 am
You married a Brit? Was it his accent or his bowler hat and rolled up umbrella that stole your heart? 😀
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March 1, 2018 at 3:43 pm
He doesn’t have a bowler hat nor a brolly. I guess it’s his accent especially the first time he left me a voice message that I had to play 10x to know exactly what he’s talking about (true story)!
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