The government yesterday announced plans to have all people who refuse to have their children vaccinated or who won’t accept that the earth is round, run over en masse by spiked steamrollers.
A Home Office spokesman told a press conference last night: “In the government’s opinion, ocean-going numpties who flatly refuse to accept irrefutable evidence gleaned over many years of exhaustive scientific research are a threat to the gene pool as well as being wearisome irritants.
“We are therefore proposing that they are rounded up over the next few weeks and taken to an abandoned airfield where they will be made to lie down in the path of spiked steamrollers.
“The government doesn’t care how much laughable research on the internet these weapons-grade fucknuts have done and nor will the blokes driving the steamrollers
“At the end of the day, it’s what most sensible people would want, trust me”
This latest move comes just a week after a splinter group of centrist Labour and Tory MPs called for people who still believe that a no-deal Brexit would be good for the country to be slashed with knives and then tossed into tanks containing starving piranha fish.