In a surprise announcement, former Foreign Secretary and staunch Brexiteer, Boris Johnson has announced plans to accede to the throne after The Queen has died.
Writing in his Daily Telegraph column, the famously ambitious Johnson, said: “I can conceive of no earthly reason why I should not be made Queen after the death of Her Majesty.
“I went to a good school, my Latin is at least on a par with Rees-Mogg’s, and even if I do say it myself, I have a certain regal bearing.
“I can’t see there being any objections from the royal family, to be honest. In fact, they’ll probably welcome my ascension to the throne
“It will give William the chance to go back to flying helicopters and Harry will be able to concentrate on getting rat-arsed and shagging that fine-looking colonial filly he’s shacked up with.
“At the end of the day, post-Brexit, this country will need a strong and dependable figurehead with a firm and steady hand on the royal tiller.
“Somebody with an unimpeachable set of values and a strong moral compass.
“I see myself as that man, even if no bugger else does”
BoJo’s shock revelation comes just 2 days after Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, told friends that he harbours a long-standing ambition to one day stop being an utter twat that nobody takes seriously and become an effective Leader of The Opposition.
February 20, 2019 at 4:34 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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February 20, 2019 at 4:37 am
I mentioned Brexit to Touch out of A Touch of Cinnamon during an intimate dinner last night, but she gently placed a finger on my lips and carried on gazing into my peepers. Totally besotted with me, mate. Still, she’s only ooman I ‘spose. Tsk
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February 20, 2019 at 4:39 am
If you mention Touch again you’ll be carrying your face home to your mum in a paper bag, chump.
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February 20, 2019 at 4:41 am
I knew it! You love Touch! You love her and want to marry her you do! 😀
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February 20, 2019 at 4:43 am
Expect a visit around noon today. 24 Brushfield Street, Spitalfields. Right?
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February 20, 2019 at 4:43 am
*whimper*
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February 20, 2019 at 10:31 am
and there you go, problems solved
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February 20, 2019 at 2:36 pm
Now all we need is for Trump to be crowned King of The Underworld and to go dwell in his new kingdom 🙂
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February 20, 2019 at 11:52 am
I must say I don’t see this: “. . . I have a certain regal bearing.” He looks more like Trump on a bad hair day!
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February 20, 2019 at 2:38 pm
There are similarities, apart from the fact that one’s a classical scholar with a keen intellect and the other one’s Donald
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February 20, 2019 at 2:34 pm
Bo Jo, how very fetching you would look in a tiara and one of HM’s natty coat. As for the corgi? I am sure we could still tell you apart. Did I say tiara? I am sorry, I meant one of her fetching head squares.
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February 20, 2019 at 2:53 pm
Dear old BoJo. I understand he makes love to his new girlfriend in Latin. I wonder if we’ll ever hear the pitter patter of tiny little ancient Romans.
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February 20, 2019 at 5:14 pm
I am astonished he has a girlfriend…… Wi a plug oogly fisog like that. x
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February 20, 2019 at 5:14 pm
Or we say up here near Arbroath, a glaikit pus.
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February 21, 2019 at 8:09 am
Well, he has to inflate her with a bycycle pump…but it’s a girlrient to HIM!
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February 21, 2019 at 9:19 am
Right enuff. Does she look like Theresa May? Neither are what you wid call bonnie.
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February 21, 2019 at 3:37 pm
No, but in Mrs May’s case, you could describe her as ‘boney’ which is pretty close.
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February 21, 2019 at 10:59 pm
Maybe BoJo won’t want to be HM now she’s been whacked with that tax bill.
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February 20, 2019 at 5:44 pm
Prince Charles could not be reached for comment?!
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February 21, 2019 at 8:07 am
No. He went out for a drive with his dad and has not been seen since
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