In a surprise announcement, former Foreign Secretary and staunch Brexiteer, Boris Johnson has announced plans to accede to the throne after The Queen has died.
Writing in his Daily Telegraph column, the famously ambitious Johnson, said: “I can conceive of no earthly reason why I should not be made Queen after the death of Her Majesty.
“I went to a good school, my Latin is at least on a par with Rees-Mogg’s, and even if I do say it myself, I have a certain regal bearing.
“I can’t see there being any objections from the royal family, to be honest. In fact, they’ll probably welcome my ascension to the throne
“It will give William the chance to go back to flying helicopters and Harry will be able to concentrate on getting rat-arsed and shagging that fine-looking colonial filly he’s shacked up with.
“At the end of the day, post-Brexit, this country will need a strong and dependable figurehead with a firm and steady hand on the royal tiller.
“Somebody with an unimpeachable set of values and a strong moral compass.
“I see myself as that man, even if no bugger else does”
BoJo’s shock revelation comes just 2 days after Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, told friends that he harbours a long-standing ambition to one day stop being an utter twat that nobody takes seriously and become an effective Leader of The Opposition.