The small band of Brexiters taking part in the March To Leave journey from Sunderland to London are reportedly running low on their supply of nourishing elven bread, or Lembas.
A small piece of the wholesome, ‘waybread’ was given to each participant, wrapped in a single Telperion leaf, by march organiser, Nigel ‘Galadriel’ Farage, before they set out on their quest to rescue Brexit from the dark forces of Parliamendor last Sunday.
A spokesman for the marchers, calling himself, Banksie Son Of Bloat, spoke to newsmen from outside his club in London’s Bloomsbury.
“I have been informed of the shortage of Lembas and will be doing everything in my power to ensure that a fresh supply is sent to the boys and girls as soon as I have received the necessary bank transfers from them”
When challenged about the sparsity of the participants, he explained that there were over a thousand to begin with but many had been picked off by fearsome Snowflake Ring Wraiths shortly after setting off from an inn, and by raiding parties of extreme left-wing Remoaner Orcs on the outskirts of Hartlepool
Newsmen later confronted, march organiser, Farage, and asked him why he wasn’t participating himself.
He explained that he had been there the entire time but had been invisible because he’d been wearing the One Ring To Fool Them All.
He then slipped a gold band on his middle finger and disappeared into a wine bar in swish, Minas Mayfair.
Apologies to our valued friends from foreign lands who won’t have a clue as to what we’re taking the piss out of here. It’s basically a bunch of fuckwits trudging through the rain in support of a policy that will bring our country down to the level of a 3rd World banana republic without any bananas.
Think Trump supporters in wellington boots. – Ed
March 21, 2019 at 6:01 am
Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.
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March 21, 2019 at 8:22 am
I attended a march like that. Just a few loaves of bread and a few pieces of fish. Then, some guy with long hair and a halo manipulated the food so that everyone had bread and fish. Sadly, he couldn’t do the same thing with the porta-potties and, because the fish seemed a little “off”, the whole thing was a disaster…
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March 21, 2019 at 8:30 am
Holy mackerel!
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March 21, 2019 at 8:43 am
You’re right! It was wholly mackerel.
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March 21, 2019 at 11:37 am
Dammit, you made me look up “Wraiths” – I hate having to google something before 8:00 am. The other thing I heard about Mr. Farage is that he has very painful bone spurs, so give the guy a break.
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March 21, 2019 at 8:15 pm
I’d love to. I’d start with his neck and work down.
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March 21, 2019 at 1:45 pm
“Think Trump supporters in wellington boots.” Hahaha, that made me laugh. Another masterpiece. π
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March 21, 2019 at 8:14 pm
Thank you, my lovely. And yes. Yes I will marry you. But you’re not getting anything until our honeymoon night mind!
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March 21, 2019 at 8:21 pm
I’m out dress shopping, what’s your size again? π x
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March 22, 2019 at 5:45 am
XXL, baby doll π
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March 22, 2019 at 1:51 am
“bring our country down to the level of a 3rd World banana republic without any bananas” — love it!
Here in Trump country, we have a character assassin without any character. Hate it!
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March 22, 2019 at 5:44 am
Brexiteers and Trumpians are carved from the rump of the same mendatious steer, my friend. I wish them nothing but pain.
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